Kiwibank backtracks on brothel ban

NZ currency

Judgy old Kiwibank has rethought its stance on who will be allowed to use its banking services after a bit of backlash over the responsible banking policy it published this week. The policy excludes a bunch of undesirables that cause…

A shitty act of revenge

I don’t watch any of those Married At First Sight/Love Island/Random People Trying to Shag Other Random People on Reality TV shows, but it has become just about impossible to avoid them. Sadly, our news websites have decided trashy TV…

A prickly superstar

A pair of Germany-based hedgies have been wowing the interwebs with their antics and travels, and one of them is fast becoming what has been dubbed a “petfluencer”. Herbee, aka “the world’s happiest hedgehog” is jetsetting his way around the…

Five rules to live by


It’s important to have a code to help you live your life to the fullest. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they’re in trouble again. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

Wine appreciation

Wine glasses

  The correct way to treat a good wine: Open the bottle to let it breathe If it doesn’t look as if it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Appreciating a tough old bird

Dame Judi Dench

Oh dear. A youngster working as a paramedic managed to raise the ire of international acting treasure, Dame Judi Dench. It seems the teenager didn’t recognise the 83-year-old actress when treating her for a hornet sting, She told The Sun:…

SeaWorld: Don’t support cruelty

  Just a wee reminder about why, if you’re ever in the United States, you shouldn’t spend any of your hard-earned cash at SeaWorld. And interestingly, in a weird pre-emptive letter SeaWorld’s lawyers sent to movie reviewers before the release…

Festive season contract negotiations

Christmas bells, Xmas

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated so please read the following carefully: I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the…