Funny crap
However you want to spell it (humor/humour), it’s the stuff that I find funny. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll agree with me but luckily it’s a free world.
Shopping with the elderly
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home one afternoon having a drink and a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the old ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, pulled it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. “What in the hell is that?” asked Maude. “A condom.” replied Mabel. “This
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Happy Star Wars day (and stop that, you’ll go blind)
Star Wars euphemisms for whacking your weasel: Shooting Womprats in Beggar’s Canyon Grooming the Wookie Making the Kessel Run Polishing Vader’s Helmet Evacuating Tatooine Unsheathing the Meatsaber Releasing the Special Edition Jumping to Delight Speed Communicating with Red Leader One Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo Tinkering With the R2 Unit Manually Targeting the Rebel Base
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Having a bad day
I knew it was going to be a bad day. Sure enough I rear-ended a car this morning. The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said “I am NOT Happy!” So I said, “Well, which one ARE you
Aussie Jingle Bells
Dashing through the bush, in a rusty Holden Ute, Kicking up the dust, esky in the boot, Kelpie by my side, singing Christmas songs, It’s Summer time and I am in my singlet, shorts and thongs Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, Christmas in Australia on a scorching summers day, Hey! Jingle
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Don’t I know you from somewhere?
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.” Now his mind travels
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