Online column

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

This is going to be one of those columns I swore I’d never write — the one where I’m staring at my computer screen trying to come up with something to write about and drawing a blank.

At the time of writing it’s a dreary, rainy Wednesday morning. Perhaps now is as good a time as any to take a look at the contents of a folder in my favourites simply labelled “current insanity” .

This folder holds links to the sites I’ve found that have entertained, amused or confused (sometimes all three). They are sites that probably won’t make it to my permanent bookmarks but are worthy of a look.

First up, there’s the real Simpsons.

This re-creation of the opening credits to the TV show has been doing the rounds on the net for a while now. It was put together by the show’s makers as a promo for the 17th season of the hit cartoon.

For the more cultured among us, there’s the Piehole song. If you want to sing along, take a look here.

You might even like to have a crack at the virtual bubble wrap.

I was quite taken with a stroppy little monkey and then there’s the amazing juggling of Chris Bliss.

Of course, no list would be complete without little Georgie Bush. About.com has a comprehensive collection of Bushisms and more.

Finally, my current favourite is the Kitty Cat Dance:

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

Before I sign off, crack open a bottle of wine and enjoy my holiday, I’d just like to say that no, last week’s column wasn’t a trolling exercise.

It wasn’t written to encourage even more e-mails telling me why I should use Firefox, Opera, Linux or any other non-Microsoft software.

It was written as a reminder that we all have our own tastes and preferences and I don’t feel obligated to offer an answer when I’m asked — over and over again — to explain why I prefer one brand over another.

I don’t have an answer for that question, it’s like asking me why I don’t like broad beans. I just don’t.

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

I’m thinking about becoming a hermit.

I quite like my own company, the house is warm and cosy and the cat doesn’t mind me being around so long as I remember to restock his food bowl on a regular basis.

With online shopping and online banking, I might never have to leave the house again.

Let’s see, I can order my weekly groceries via Woolworths or Foodtown. I’ve actually used Woolworths a few times and it’s a piece of cake. The only downside to buying food online is that I can’t order meat because, according to the nice customer-service chick, our couriers here in the sunny south don’t have properly refrigerated vans.

At least I can buy a couple of bottles of wine with my weekly groceries. Are you listening ILT? I can pay all my bills online — power, phone and so on.

And I’d feel a whole lot more comfortable about that if the banks would actually take online security a lot more seriously. We’ve all heard the horror stories about people losing money to hackers, we’ve all heard how a simple two-stage authentication process would make us safe. Are you listening banks?

Online auction sites like Trade Me have opened up a world of possibilities for buyers and sellers alike. However, there are also sites such as Christchurch-based Long Island, which sells clothing for women. The company’s size range goes from 10 to 30 and the styles take in casual, evening and everything in between.

This is another company I’ve bought from in the past and I can vouch for the quality of the clothes.

However, it’s the level of customer service that has made me a repeat customer and that’s something that online businesses seem to excel at.

Now I just have to find hire-a-housekeeper.com.

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

Woohoo, only six sleeps to go.

I realise I’m probably setting myself up for an influx of mail from well-meaning PlayStation groupies telling me why I should favour Sony’s games console over the Microsoft version but I don’t care. I’m an Xbox fan and in less than a week the latest beastie, the Xbox 360, will be hitting the shelves in New Zealand. I can’t wait.

It’s interesting just how passionate people can be when it comes to trying to steer someone away from Bill Gates’ empire. I regularly get e-mails from readers telling me why I should be using a Mac instead of a PC, Linux instead of XP, Opera instead of IE. After gently explaining that I’m quite happy with my choices, the not-so-gentle reader usually assumes I’m totally computer illiterate and sends e-mails saying as much.

Here’s the deal guys — I like my PC, I’m ecstatic about XP and I’m over the moon about IE. It’s not because I don’t know any better, because I do.

According to the statistics for my website, 96 percent of visitors are using a Windows-based operating system and 85.7 percent are using Internet Explorer to surf the net. I know my website isn’t a standout, but the stats I’m seeing are pretty average compared to the rest of the net.

So please, stop trying to convince me I’m a freak because I like products sold by Microsoft.

There are many reasons I’m a freak but that isn’t one of them.

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

With news of the latest Trade Me auction scam breaking this week, it might be a good time to take a fresh look at online safety.

On Monday, our Queenstown-based reporter Lin Ferguson reported on a now-banned Trade Me member who sold non-existent laptops and then skipped the country, leaving 20-odd traders out of pocket to the tune of nearly $20,000.

Unfortunately, these types of scams aren’t uncommon. While the amount of money taken in this example is on the high side, it isn’t the first time a trader has pulled off a scam of this scale.

Trade Me’s standard piece of advice is that traders should use escrow service SafeTrader.

With this option, the buyer pays their money into a holding account, where it stays until the seller provides the goods.

It all sounds good in theory but I’d feel more comfortable if Trade Me didn’t actually own the escrow company it promotes.

For every transaction through SafeTrader, Trade Me pulls in a further 3.5 percent in fees.

The other regular problem traders complain about with SafeTrader is the time factor — in these days of instant online gratification, sellers want their cash tomorrow, not next week or later.

Some of the safeguards suggested by traders and internet watchdog group Scambusters include compulsory address verification and authentication for sellers.

Address verification involves having Trade Me send a code to your registered postal address, which you enter online to show you really do live at the address provided.

Authentication is where traders credit their Trade Me account with $10 for the first time, resulting in a red star beside their user name.

These two simple measures would weed out a lot of the potential scammers, although it has to be remembered that the latest lowlife uncovered in the laptop scam had done both of these things.

A third option advocated by Scambusters is using IP lookup technology to block overseas scammers.

Trade Me doesn’t like discussions about potential or proven scams taking place on its message boards.

I guess that’s fair enough — it is Sam Morgan’s site after all and he gets the final say on what members may or may not get to read.

There’s many a trader been banned from using the message board for daring to suggest the possibility of anything untoward happening.

In fact, it was a series of bannings that led to the formation of Scambusters.

Interestingly, while some traders have been banned at the speed of light for breaching the do-not-talk-about-other-traders rule, other issues that have been raised on the message board have been totally ignored — such as one trader using three usernames (something Trade Me says is not allowed) and accumulating big chunks of negative feedback.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still the best online auction site this side of the black stump but it can be improved.

For now, protect yourself by checking feedback before bidding.

Look for sellers who are address verified and authenticated.

For larger purchases, consider using Safe Trader and, as a final measure, join Scambusters.