Funny crap

A husband and wife are shopping in Pak and Save supermarket when the man picks up a carton of Speight’s (beer, for any non-Kiwis who might be wondering … really bad beer, but beer nonetheless) and sticks it into the trolley. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on special, only $20 for

You’ve no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone elses thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically

A man goes to confession, sits down and tells the priest, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” “What was your sin, my son?” the priest asked. “Obscene language,” the man replied. “That’s a terrible sin,” the priest replied. “Do you swear often?” “No,” answered the man, “but do you know the local golf course?”