How stupid does he think we are/Readings, you suck

Right, it’s time for my first proper rant of the year. A double rant, in fact.

Part one of this rant is directed at Daniel Craig. Yes, he looks good in a pair of Speedos and doesn’t make a bad James Bond, but that’s not what I’m complaining about. It’s the whole The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo remake that has me mentally reaching for my imaginary Taser (oh, my mind is a truly scary place, but we’re happy in here).

Why did the aforementioned Daniel Craig feel the need to warn potential viewers to leave the kids at home? Did he think the average parent would decide a movie about a vicious serial killer, with a spot of rape and other assorted misogynous acts chucked in for good measure, would make great family viewing?

And even worse, the Daily Mail thought that him telling mums and dads to leave the kids at home was newsworthy.

The next part of my rant is directed at Readings, which unfortunately runs the one and only movie theatre in Invercargill: why does it take so long to get some movies in our city? They open everywhere else and we are left waiting like some third world backwater.

I was interested in seeing the remake of Dragon Tattoo, simply because I’ve read all three books and watched all three of the original movies and was interested in comparing this new version to those three incredibly powerful films.

It opened on December 21 everywhere. Well, everywhere but here.

I have no idea when it will make it to our fair city and I no longer give a flying fuck, having read all the bad reviews it has received (hmmm, maybe I should be thanking the morons managers at Readings for saving me a few bucks).

We might get the first one here some time before the wrap up filming on the sequel, which Sony has now confirmed will go ahead despite Dragon Tattoo’s poor performance.

This isn’t the first time a big-note movie has been delayed here and it won’t be the last but I’m baffled at how it is we can get sparkly fecking vampires on our screens at the same time as everyone else but not anything that might appeal to grownups.

And Daniel Craig: stick to filling out the nice blue Speedos and doing Bond-like stuff. You’re no Sean Connery but you make a better replacement for him than for Mikael Nyqvist.


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