In the news

Plucked from the headlines, online and in print

Her cups runneth over

Her cups runneth over

I sort of admire the attitude of a Welsh great-grandmother who decided to buy herself a new set of boobies at the age of 65 but I think that perhaps she went a little overboard. Joan Lloyd was widowed last year and decided it was time to treat herself to the new lady lumps, going from a somewhat miserly A cup to a positively frighteningly mountainous F cup. As you can see in the...

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Meth market munted?

Meth market munted?

This nasty old recession is making things tough for everyone out there, even our drug-addled citizens. A story on the Dominion Post website today says prices for methamphetamine are on the rise but the product is in short supply and lacking potency. Which is, when you think about it, a lot like politicians: the less they do the more they cost. But back to the meth-heads. According to a report compiled by brain boxes at...

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Justice for all … well, some …

I know there’s probably some law expert out there who can explain in a logical manner just how our system is just and fair but for the life of me I can’t see it. A bloke appeared in court in Christchurch yesterday charged with with being a disgusting person in public. Well, okay, that wasn’t exactly the correct charge but it was what he did: I think we call all agree that pressing your...

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And the winner is …

Moon-gazer Ken Ring has been in the news again of late and while I’m choosing to ignore the whole “another quake’s coming” prediction, I can’t ignore the New Zealand Skeptics Bent Spoon award he has inspired. These sensible citizens decided to give their annual award for “the most gullible or naive reporting in the paranormal or pseudo-science area” to the New Zealand media for promoting Ring and his theories. Well, that’s what it says...

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Taking the man out of mana

Apparently attacking your pregnant ex isn’t such a big deal. Especially if you have your mana to protect. A manager at Te Papa had a row with his ex while visiting her and their toddler. The child got a bleeding nose after being hit by a door during a struggle between her parents and the fine, upstanding specimen of manhood that is her father (and the father of the unborn child) threw a hissy...

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How not to win sympathy for your cause

I can understand the whole peaceful protest thing that happened after the dude was shot in London a few days ago … people have a right to protest (peacefully) about things that raise their hackles. That’s one of the benefits of living in the free world. But the rioting? What a bunch of pillocks. Yes, that’ll show the authorities … go smash up the places you live, destroy the homes and/or businesses of a...

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A sensible decision

As a parent I know I have a responsibility to protect my child (not that he’s a child any more … he’s a fully fledged, hairy young man). When he was just a wee fella, my most important mission in life was to ensure he was happy and healthy. But, as is often the case, there were times when he managed to evade all my best intentions and injure himself anyway and the result...

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Political correctness = crass stupidity?

The parents of a poor little kid in Toronto have decided to inflict their politically correct stupidity on the child by raising him/her as a genderless being. They already have two children: a pair of quite feminine sons named Jazz and Kio. And yes, as the Daily Mirror quite rightly points out, those names do sound a hell of a lot like the latest model hatchback you’d find at your local car yard. Anyway,...

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Osama bin Gone

The jokes are popping up everywhere now that it’s been confirmed Osama bin Laden is dead. Letterman used it for his top 10 list, suggesting bin Laden’s final words may have been something along  the lines of  ”I need a house full of Navy Seals like I need a hole in the head”. There there are the reports that due to a paperwork typo, when he got to heaven instead of the 72 virgins...

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The man for the job

You really have to wonder what possessed Mr and Mrs Guy to name their little boy Randy. They must be proud of his career achievements, though. The headline on Asian Banking & Finance? “Randy Guy gets head job“. Well, yes, I’m sure he did. And no, I’m not pulling your tit. That really is the headline.

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