A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband: “I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.” He never heard the shot …
The compliment
Category: Funny stuff
However you want to spell it (humor/humour), it’s the stuff that I find funny. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll agree with me but luckily it’s a free world.
Don’t have a cow, man
A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper. Teacher: What is this? Kid: It’s a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: *Looks at the paper* Where’s the grass? Kid: The cow ate all of it. Teacher: *Looks…
I’m sorry, but you’re not on the list
Here’s how not to do it
How many?
After three years of marriage, the wife as still questioning her husband about his lurid past. “C’mon, tell me,” she asked for the thousandth time, “How many women have you slept with?” “Baby,” he protested, “if I told you, you’d…
The warm fuzzies
Welcoming committee
Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys a block of land in an isolated part of the West Coast, as far from humanity as possible. Sam…
