Please cover up

Inspiration poster Cleavage

What is it with all these pop tartlets feeling the need to flash their bits about the place? Can’t they get by on talent?

After all the usual dramas in the past with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears etc being photographed out on the town without their undies on, and all the sex tapes from Paris Hilton (do I sense a trend there?) and others popping up on the net you’d think they’d know better than to put themselves in a position where their uncovered flesh might come back bite them on the bum (figuratively, not literally … because that would involve some weird flexibility issues).

Scarlett Johansson is the latest wee flibbertigibbet* be embarrassed by revealing photos of herself. Well, there were topless photos of some blonde bint who’s married to a Pomgolian footballer but I’d never heard of her and besides, it’s about as classy as one would expect from a WAG (no offence Zara, we all know that you’re not the slapper in your particular blonde-and-sportsman equation).

But I digress, enough about he of the crooked nose and back to Ms Johansson. She was one of a group of celebs who had their phones hacked and content stolen: in her case slightly revealing photos. Of course, they’ve been all over the web since then and in the scheme of things, they aren’t so bad. She actually took the photos herself, posing “tastefully” with her arse reflected in a mirror. I won’t point you in the direction of any of those photos but if you want a better idea of what they look like, check out the new trend of Scarlett Johanssoning.

She’s a very attractive young woman and a pretty decent actress (we won’t talk  about her singing though, because hearing her destroying Tom Waits’ songs makes me want to poke forks in my own ears).

And now we’ve got Rihanna upsetting that poor bloody farmer in Ireland by getting her norks out for a video. What is it with that woman? Ever since her ex went all Rambo on her she’s become pop’s wannabe bad girl, singing songs that seem to glorify violence and jet-setting around the world wearing, well, bugger all actually.

Maybe she thinks that if she flashes her bewbies, people won’t notice that weirdly square-shaped forehead of hers.

* Flibbertigibbet is a Middle English word that refers to a flighty or whimsical person, usually a young woman or pop tartlet.

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