Month: February 2011
Happy Duck Day!
I’ve decided to ignore yesterday’s Waitangi Day, since it’s always so bloody contentious anyway, and instead declare today my own special national holiday: Duck Day. Since it’s raining so much, meaning it’s lovely weather for them. I’m sick of hearing…
OMG, what does this mean?
We didn’t get out to our hut this weekend but when we were there last weekend we were treated to a fairly spectacular sunset and (brace yourselves) a DOUBLE RAINBOW. I controlled my urge to rave about it in a…
The compliment
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband: “I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.” He never heard the shot …
At least someone’s hiring
The glittering prize
Don’t have a cow, man
A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper. Teacher: What is this? Kid: It’s a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: *Looks at the paper* Where’s the grass? Kid: The cow ate all of it. Teacher: *Looks…
Unending Explorer security woes
(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times) To further prove my point from a couple of weeks ago that yes, they really are out to get us and that my healthy level of paranoia is a good…
I live in a great part of the world
Sure, our weather isn’t always tropical but we avoid most of the worst extremes other places have: it still makes the news if it snows here, we have droughts but things stay green and we don’t have the sort of…
Introducing Norman
Meet Norman, the latest addition to our family. We struggled to come up with a name for her but in the end it was her behaviour that helped: she’s a bit of a psycho so has been named in honour…