Picture the scene: You are tucked up in bed, sound asleep, when suddenly you are awoken by a strange noise.
And just what do you find upon investigating said noise? Well, if you are the poor woman in the news report I read, you find a wee herd of cows lurking in your garden.
It appears the visiting bovines may have escaped from a rodeo.
Many years ago I had a similar unexpected visit from a goat. Hey, another goat reference — no wonder I’m ranked #3 on Google for the search term “goat in jail”.
But I digress. Back to my visiting goat. I had a incredibly bad bout of hayfever at the time and, since that particular allergic reaction was fairly new to me, I was still getting a handle on what worked for me when it came to treating the symptoms. As it turned out, not much worked at all. And the one medication that did work (the one I’d taken that day) made my brain slightly disengage from the rest of my body.
So there I was, stretched out on the couch admiring the glowing colours in the wallpaper and trying to remember what day of the week it was when I looked up and there it was looking in my living room window at me: a goat. But not just any goat. This thing was huge.
I got that it was a goat but it took a little longer for me to register that it shouldn’t be there. I lived in the suburbs, on a busy street. There’s just no way a goat should have been there.
When I eventually managed to decipher the thought that the goat was out of place, I looked back to the window and he was gone (I say he because he had a massive set of horns on him. I’m no goat expert, but I took a punt and decided he was a boy goat).
I then decided to drag my sorry self into the kitchen for a glass of water, and as I wandered past my glass front door, there he was again, just staring at me, all inquisitive and goat-like. I decided to grab the phone to call my local radio station, just to see if someone has reported a missing goat on the lost and found pet roundup. By the time I’d turned around, he was gone.
I never saw him again. The mystery goat, he came, he saw, he saw again, and he buggered off.
UPDATE: Just checked, I’ve dropped to #5 for “goat in jail” on Google.