Fast-forwarding to comedy (TV review)

I believe in supporting Kiwi music just as much as the next bloke but I have to confess I haven’t really been following the latest televised vocal bun-fight — Pop’s Ultimate Star — too closely.

I’m all singing competitioned-out after the latest series of American Idol and, to be honest, I’ve never managed to get myself interested enough in the local version to watch it (don’t take it personally Steve, I didn’t watch Mayor Tim on Dancing With the Stars, either).

Anyway, back to Pop’s Ultimate Star. I work at night so, of course, most of what I watch on TV is recorded earlier. Because I’m too lazy to actually set the timer properly on my DVD, I always end up fast-forwarding through the Wednesday night elimination show on my way to watching Two and a Half Men.

If I hit play on my DVD remote during the survival songs being performed by the two singers on the chopping block for that particular week and the shorts of their Sunday night performance (about 3 minutes each, give or take) and then fast forward to the end for the judges’ decision (another half a minute or so) I can effectively watch 2 hours’ of television in less than 7 minutes.

I’ve found there’s no point in actually listening to what the judges have to say after each song because it would appear that they have a selection of three comments they share between the four of them.

The fickle New Zealand voting public is another annoyance. From what I’ve gather, local lad Steve Broad laid on his best performance of the show last Sunday so the viewers promptly voted him in the bottom two, along with Camillia.

The judging panel features Peter Urlich of Th’ Dudes fame, Hello Sailor founding member Harry Lyons, Kim Willoughby of When The Cat’s Away and usually Jordan Luck, although this week Graham Brazier — another Hello Sailor crewman — was filling since Luck and his hair were here in the south for the Starry Eyed Queenstown show. I thought I had problem hair but I’ve got nothing on Luck’s lively mop.I’m not sure what’s going on in there but it almost needs its own postcode.

So, the singers did their thing and the illustrious judges pondered and decided to send our Steve home.

Mean buggers.

I didn’t really have any strong feelings on who was the better singer out of Steve and Camillia because their styles were so very different.

However, I did feel the urge to reach through the TV screen, grab Camillia by the shoulders and shake her while yelling it’s pronounced ASK, not ARKS.

Yes, I know lots of people mispronounce the word but for goodness sakes, when you’re singing it get it right. Especially if you’re singing U2′s One.

She also had that crazy, fanning-herself-with-her-hand thing going on like a gospel singers in a bad movie. You know, the hand twitching like she’s been tasered.

If you arks me, it’s distracting.

>> This was one of a short series of TV reviews I wrote while our regular reviewer was on maternity leave.