We all have hate lists — don’t we?

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

computer security

If you have anti-virus software on your computer you’ve probably noticed a flurry of activity during the past couple of days with new virus definition updates coming thick and fast.

If you’re not already familiar with Symantec’s Security Response site, now is probably a good time to pay a visit. You’ll find information on the latest and greatest in the world of viruses and other nasties.

Hackers, virus-writers and other assorted script kiddies sit at No 6 on my list of people I’d like to bitch-slap Yes, I have a list and it’s quite comprehensive. Right now, Nicole Kidman occupies the top spot and I suspect I’m not the only one out there.

Ralph Fiennes is next on the list. I know everyone just loved The English Patient but come on, the name is Ralph (with a fffff at the end). It’s a name is of English origin so where did the pronunciation Rayf come from?

Besides, I dont like his hair.

Britney SpearsI’m sure it comes as no surprise to anyone that Britney Spears is at No 3. No explanation necessary for that one.

The smug bloke on the judging panel for NZ Idol last year is next — he made such an impression on me that I can’t remember his name but his attempts at being the mean judge were about as effective as me trying to pretend I’m sensitive.

But I digress — back to No 5 on my ever-growing list, purveyors of spam emails. According to the Pew Internet and Life Project, people are receiving more unwanted junk in their inboxes but minding it less.

What people? They didnt ask me. If I had my way they’d have public floggings for those irritating little bottom-feeders.

Sticking with the topic of net nasties, Symantec is planning to include spyware protection in its latest Norton security package and is offering a beta version the spyware software.

Opera has also beefed up security with its latest offering.

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