The other guy won … it’s a conspiracy

Runner-up Adam Lambert. How the hell did that happen?

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

I love that the interweb is abuzz with conspiracy theories and online tantrums now that American Idol has wrapped up for another year.

In fact, the drama-rama online is almost better than the over-the-top warblings of contestant Tatiana del Toro, who had a severe case of her bladder being too near her eyes (as my old dear mum used to say). She’d break out the tears at the drop of a hat and had a laugh that sounded like a nervous turkey in December.

YouTube has a nice wee selection of her insanity so soak it up and just be thankful that, unlike the people who deal with her in the flesh, you have a volume control at your fingertips.

Before I go any further, let me say I was (and still am) an Adam Lambert fan but I refuse to call myself a Glambert, the term adopted by some of his online fans.

The other guy (you know, the dude who won) seems like a nice enough bloke with a nice enough voice but for me, he was just a wee bit forgettable. For the life of me I can’t remember any of his songs from the competition and I’ve gone blank on his name.

Anyway, back to the online fallout from the decision. Celebrity blogger/famewhore Perez Hilton is on his high horse over the fact that Lambert is what he calls a “publicly closeted homosexual”. I’m not quite sure what that actually means but it would appear Hilton has got the pip because Lambert won’t come straight out and say which team he bats for. Yawn, who cares.

The news that the boys from Queen were interested in working with him probably came as no surprise to most after hearing him sing with the band during the big finale (yes, I know the other guy was there too, but I couldn’t hear him sing so that doesn’t count). However, it did seem to upset the odd Queen fan, with one saying “i will never be listening to Queen ever again, i will delete all their music (sic)”.

I can almost hear them stamping their foot.

The theories are everywhere about why the other dude won: it was an anti-gay movement, it was the Bible-belters mobilising, it was rigged phone lines, it was set up that way from the start Put your tin-foil hats away people, it’s just the way the cards fell. Besides, the people who vote in these things aren’t necessarily the same people who will go out and buy the CDs when they are released: Chris Daughtry didn’t get past fourth place and he’s gone on to become Idol’s biggest success story.


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