Glad I didn’t watch that faked opening

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

Well, how’s that for sporting prowess? I’m not talking about “those” Games that I’m boycotting, I’m talking about the Stags and the eblacks.

Our very own Southland Stags took out a win over Manawatu on Friday night (yay), giving me something to focus on that didn’t involve a certain opening-ceremony-that-shall-remain-nameless.

But just between you, me and whoever else might be reading this, doesn’t it strike you as a tad fitting that China, the country that seems to produce so many of the fake designer handbags being sold on dodgy websites, decided to fake it for that unnamed opening ceremony? First, we hear that some — perhaps all — of the giant footprints that had everyone ooh-ing and ahh-ing in television coverage of the fireworks display were in fact fake.

They were computer generated because, apparently, filming the real thing would have been difficult.

Then there’s the wee girl who sang at the ceremony and, from all accounts, stunned the world with her voice. Turns out she was lip-synching. The organisers felt the girl who had the great voice didn’t have the look they wanted for the event.

However, I’m guessing the wee software malfunction was genuine enough.

Sticking with my boycott, I spent the weekend watching non-Olympic sporting events, and it ended up being very entertaining.

Streetball, as it turns out, is pretty amazing. I also fitted in some Texas Hold’em poker and darts. All-in-all, a full weekend of sports viewing with not an Olympic ring in sight.

Then it was our mighty eblacks gaming team, battling their way to gold and silver medals at the World Cyber Games Asian Championship in Singapore, earning them the Asian Championship Trophy.

Who needs the Olympics?

PS: And while we all might complain about our jobs from time to time, it sure beats working in the shadow of a bunch of tanks.

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