All the way from Denmark, this product performs a little magic trick. It starts as a liquid but dries matte, so there’s no smudging. And interestingly, even though it dries to a matte finish, it doesn’t feel dry on the lips.
It also smells pretty amazing: none of that weird melted plastic pong you get with so many liquid lippies. Nosiree Bob, my one was reminiscent of a chocolate cake. Not overly strong, but there was a subtle hint of it.
I got a fairly innocuous shade that works well for my colouring without being too boring … sort of a coffee-ish colour.
I might even try this one out in one of the more in-your-face shades on offer.
MANHATTAN SOFT MAT LIP CREAM (RRP $15)
One of those diet drink things, this one was in banana flavour, which put me off from the get-go. Bananas aren’t really my favourite fruit anyway, but fake banana flavours are just plain nasty.
A quick read through of the information and words like “green tea extract” and “soy protein” put me off even more: they both taste like arse and I’m sick to death of them being heralded as the be-all and end-all of good health. Especially soy: it makes me itchy and I actually know more people who have been found to have issues with soy than with the lactose in real milk from those things that go moo (although, I’m still wondering how humans first worked out that you could drink cow’s milk and what exactly the first person to make that discovery was actually doing to the cow when he had the moo breakthrough).
I passed this on to my well-insured husband, who said it was okay but a bit sickly and that he prefers the Eat Me Supplements Lean Shake mixes I’ve been buying of late. Besides, at $6 a sachet, these work out a lot more expensive and have a lot less protein: one serve of Celebrity Slim has just 18.7g of protein, one serve of Lean Shake (made with non-fat milk) has a whopping 40.9g. It also works out at just $1.96 a serve (plus the cost of milk) if you buy the 1kg bag.
And it does taste better.
LIFESTYLE BOOSTER: Celebrity Slim (RRP $6 per sachet)
Who’d have thunk it: I know some clean jokes! OK, so they aren’t particularly funny but it’s a hard road finding the perfect joke.
Why is the ocean wet?
Because the sea weed.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her.
What do you call a kungfu pig?
What do you call a blind deer?
What do you call a dead blind deer?
Still no idea.
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler!
In the greatest scandal to rock children’s television since Big Bird started toking up and imagining a big hairy critter named Snuffy, a mum in Cardiff reckons her young daughter has picked up a naughty word (starts with F, ends in UCK; rhymes with duck) from Peppa Pig.
To be honest, I initially thought she was just having a bit of a whinge, but after listening I have to say it certainly sounds like one of those words that would have made my Standard 1 teacher Mrs Bridgeman shudder. And Mrs Bridgeman was pretty resilient (and hairy, too. But that’s probably not relevant to the conversation. But damn, that woman had a hairy chin).
But I digress. Have a listen: what do you reckon?
ON THE WEB
Peppa Pig taught my little girl the F word
I make no secret of the fact that I am no fan of any of the Kardashians (famous for fuck all apart from dodgy marriages and, well, actually that’s about it). But I really think it’s scraping the bottom of the barrel to be banging on about Bruce Jenner’s puckered jawline being a combination of ageing and botched plastic surgery.
Yes, he may well have had some questionable plastic surgery back in the day but holy crap … he’s a 64-year-old bloke with a wrinkly neck. Isn’t that normal? A whole lot more normal than mama Kardashian (Kris?) and her taut, line-free face. Or indeed the faces of so many Hollywood types, with their wind-tunnel look hiding any evidence of age.
Here’s the deal: as we get older, our skin loses a little of it’s perkiness. As do many of our other bits and pieces. This is how it is meant to be. I hardly think gravity is newsworthy.
OK, so he’s a slightly odd-looking bloke with slightly effeminate features (rumours are of an impending sex change surgery, which he has denied … who knows), but the wrinkly neck is probably not as bad as that of the average, normal REAL 64-year-old.
The high-waisted grandad pants (click on the link below)? Well that’s a whole other story!
ON THE WEB
Bruce Jenner reveals puckered jawline
I was pretty happy with this one: it’s a good, all purpose balm that comes in a convenient little tub that will fit in any handbag.
I loved the Burt’s Bees Res-Q Ointment that I tried out a few months ago and I reckon this one will become another of my “go to” products.
While the Burt’s Bees concoction is a great little balm to heal all manner of bites, scratches and burns (great for a klutz like me), this one does a fantastic job of general soothing and smoothing. You can use it to remove eye makeup, spread some on your lips if they are a bit dry, even use it to sculpt your eyebrows if they are getting a bit unruly.
It has a pleasant and fairly neutral smell and unlike some aloe vera products, it didn’t irritate my skin. It’s a pretty good price for something that does so much and looks like a 50ml tub will go a long way.
SWISSPERS ALOE EVERYTHING BALM (RRP $15 for 50ml)