My latest rant

Sometimes I just need to rant. Be afraid, you are my captive audience.

Please cover up

Please cover up

What is it with all these pop tartlets feeling the need to flash their bits about the place? Can’t they get by on talent? After all the usual dramas in the past with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears etc being photographed out on the town without their undies on, and all the sex tapes from Paris Hilton (do I sense a trend there?) and others popping up on the net you’d think they’d know better...

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Meth market munted?

Meth market munted?

This nasty old recession is making things tough for everyone out there, even our drug-addled citizens. A story on the Dominion Post website today says prices for methamphetamine are on the rise but the product is in short supply and lacking potency. Which is, when you think about it, a lot like politicians: the less they do the more they cost. But back to the meth-heads. According to a report compiled by brain boxes at...

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Justice for all … well, some …

I know there’s probably some law expert out there who can explain in a logical manner just how our system is just and fair but for the life of me I can’t see it. A bloke appeared in court in Christchurch yesterday charged with with being a disgusting person in public. Well, okay, that wasn’t exactly the correct charge but it was what he did: I think we call all agree that pressing your...

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Taking the man out of mana

Apparently attacking your pregnant ex isn’t such a big deal. Especially if you have your mana to protect. A manager at Te Papa had a row with his ex while visiting her and their toddler. The child got a bleeding nose after being hit by a door during a struggle between her parents and the fine, upstanding specimen of manhood that is her father (and the father of the unborn child) threw a hissy...

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The rumoured bed …

Big Save say it will be here on Friday. So that’s another delay of another week. They also say (once again) that they’ll understand if we don’t want to go through with the purchase. They’ll understand if we want to buy elsewhere. They’ll understand if we want them to take back the half-arsed, damaged, mismatched bedroom suite they delivered 8 weeks or so ago. Because, I guess, it’s easier to wash your hands of...

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Holidays and wayward furniture

So I’m not back in the land of the web-living after a week of annual leave involving several vodka tasting sessions, searching for lost ping pong balls (Norman’s favourite toy at the moment),¬† bonding with Seymour the Wonder Cat and his arch-nemesis Norman the Newbie Cat, avoiding the particularly nasty bout of late autumn weather that invaded our lovely province and wondering why the hell buying a new bedroom suite ended up being such...

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Boo-fecking-hoo, poor baby

Did we all feel sorry for the pillock in court last week, facing charges over a high-speed chase? He was “petrified”, according to the news report. Poor boy thought the police would stop chasing him once he hit speeds of 160kmh so he kept going … and so did the cops. Eventually, he reached 190kmh, which is when the whole “petrified” thing happened. According to that same court report, the moron in question was...

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WOOS: (Word) Occupational overuse syndrome

I know the Christchurch earthquake has been awful, that it has done so much damage to the city it’s almost too much to comprehend. However, I think it’s time we in the media banned the term “earthquake-ravaged”. Much like the liquefaction, it’s everywhere: earthquake-ravaged this, earthquake-ravaged that, earthquake-ravaged city, earthquake-ravaged central-business district, the earthquake-ravaged eastern suburbs … the list goes on. It was a good, effective, punchy way of describing the damage. Once or...

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The key to getting it right

Dear New Zealand citizens, If you don’t know the name of our country’s Prime Minister you have no right to whinge about him. I am sick to death of seeing all the hand-wringers on the Trade Me message board getting stuck into everything he does while getting his name wrong: it’s John Key, NOT John Keys. Perhaps we should have a basic intelligence and general knowledge test before allowing people to vote. And perhaps...

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Horror after horror

I think I might just be in a bad mood for the rest of the week as I try to get my head around the insensitive, selfish fuck-tards who seem to inhabit some parts of cyberspace here in New Zealand. These past few weeks has been pretty awful, with the deadly quake in Christchurch and now the awful events in Japan. Like nearly everyone I know, I spent that Friday night glued to the...

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