My latest rant

Sometimes I just need to rant. Be afraid, you are my captive audience.

Milkshakes a dying breed?

Milkshakes a dying breed?

Why is it so hard to find a half-way decent milkshake in good old Invercargill? Once in a blue moon, I have a hankering for a good, old-fashioned milk shake and it’s always the same old thing I want: caramel or jaffa with ice cream. Bell’s used to be the place to go but not so much any more … the last time I tried one of their concoctions I ended up with something...

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What a bunch of boobs

Opinions are a lot like arseholes: everyone has one and most of them are full of shit. Right now, it seems every man and his dog has an opinion on breastfeeding and they are keen to share those opinions. Mothers opt to bottle feed for many reasons: sometimes they are unable to breastfeed no matter how hard they try, sometimes mothers get sick, sometimes babies are born early and are unable to feed, sometimes...

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How stupid does he think we are/Readings, you suck

How stupid does he think we are/Readings, you suck

Right, it’s time for my first proper rant of the year. A double rant, in fact. Part one of this rant is directed at Daniel Craig. Yes, he looks good in a pair of Speedos and doesn’t make a bad James Bond, but that’s not what I’m complaining about. It’s the whole The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo remake that has me mentally reaching for my imaginary Taser (oh, my mind is a truly...

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Lessons in sportsmanship

Lessons in sportsmanship

It seems to have taken forever to get to the final of the Rugby World Cup and I’m pinning my hopes (and a small wager with a rugby-hating friend who trundled out the “it’s only a game” line after the 2007 quarter-final) on the All Blacks doing what they do so well: winning. I had been feeling a little sorry for the French, being the target of so much ill will from the New...

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Are we any better?

Are we any better?

Everyone has been up in arms about the awful story out of China today about a hit and run incident involving a toddler. And rightly so. The little girl had wandered off from her mum and was knocked over by a van. The driver didn’t stop and, even more worryingly, neither did a dozen or so passersby. No, they all just wandered past the critically injured little girl, leaving her on the road. Awful,...

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Nothing funny about this comedian

Nothing funny about this comedian

Finally, there is going to be a judicial review of a judge’s decision to let a comedian away with no punishment for sexually assaulting his four-year-old daughter. This was a case that absolutely disgusted me for so many reasons: that a father could do that to his own child, that he could somehow think being drunk excused the behaviour and, most of all, that a judge could even suggest that his losing a a...

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Bad boys, bad boys …

As much as I enjoy a good game of rugby, I’ve been a bit put out by some of the imbalances shown during this Rugby World Cup. If you play for Samoa and wear a non-regulation mouth guard what happens? You get a bloody big fine (bearing in mind the team isn’t exactly flush with money). Play for England and do dodgy things with the ball and what happens? You get a warning and...

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Please cover up

Please cover up

What is it with all these pop tartlets feeling the need to flash their bits about the place? Can’t they get by on talent? After all the usual dramas in the past with Paris Hilton, Britney Spears etc being photographed out on the town without their undies on, and all the sex tapes from Paris Hilton (do I sense a trend there?) and others popping up on the net you’d think they’d know better...

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Meth market munted?

Meth market munted?

This nasty old recession is making things tough for everyone out there, even our drug-addled citizens. A story on the Dominion Post website today says prices for methamphetamine are on the rise but the product is in short supply and lacking potency. Which is, when you think about it, a lot like politicians: the less they do the more they cost. But back to the meth-heads. According to a report compiled by brain boxes at...

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Justice for all … well, some …

I know there’s probably some law expert out there who can explain in a logical manner just how our system is just and fair but for the life of me I can’t see it. A bloke appeared in court in Christchurch yesterday charged with with being a disgusting person in public. Well, okay, that wasn’t exactly the correct charge but it was what he did: I think we call all agree that pressing your...

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