In the news

Plucked from the headlines, online and in print

What a bunch of boobs

Opinions are a lot like arseholes: everyone has one and most of them are full of shit. Right now, it seems every man and his dog has an opinion on breastfeeding and they are keen to share those opinions. Mothers opt to bottle feed for many reasons: sometimes they are unable to breastfeed no matter how hard they try, sometimes mothers get sick, sometimes babies are born early and are unable to feed, sometimes...

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Anonymity: you’re doing it wrong

Anonymity: you’re doing it wrong

At least they know how to spell anonymity, I suppose. Now perhaps they can look it up in a dictionary, because I’m pretty sure they don’t know what it actually means! Maybe Ms Reynolds wore a mask  while being interviewed.

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Poor wee ronery dictator

I realise there are some people out there who lack something in the brain cell department, but when someone is in the public eye you’d think they’d make an effort to know what they’re talking about. But, when it comes to celebutards who are famous for nothing more than living their lives in public, that’s too much to ask. Some silly bint on the Pommy version of Jersey Shore (something called The Only Way...

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Oooh, a reunion of note

Ozzy and the boys are re-forming Black Sabbath, putting out their first new album for 33 years AND going on a world tour next year. I hope they stop off here in Kiwi land.  

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OMG: A 45kg scrotum?

I suppose it makes you appreciate our heath-care system when you read stories like this: some poor bugger in the United States has scrotal elephantiasis, which means his crackers are ginormous. Yes folks, he has a 45kg scrotum. Anyway, he needs an operation to fix the problem but has no medical insurance so is trying to raise the funds himself: $1.25 million. Our health-care system might not be perfect but I’d like to believe...

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Donald: the man, the legend

Donald: the man, the legend

This great wee photo gallery on Stuff pulls together some of the Stephen Donald pics doing the rounds online.

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Lessons in sportsmanship

Lessons in sportsmanship

It seems to have taken forever to get to the final of the Rugby World Cup and I’m pinning my hopes (and a small wager with a rugby-hating friend who trundled out the “it’s only a game” line after the 2007 quarter-final) on the All Blacks doing what they do so well: winning. I had been feeling a little sorry for the French, being the target of so much ill will from the New...

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Going, going … nope, still here

I’m sure it was a relief to everyone when the world didn’t end on Friday. Except, of course, the wrinkly old bugger who keeps predicting the end of the world. After his disastrous efforts in predicting the end of times back in March, 90-year-old Harold Camping had another crack at it, saying the March date was actually Judgment Day — “a spiritual moment when the righteous would be chosen”  — and really a bit of a...

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Are we any better?

Are we any better?

Everyone has been up in arms about the awful story out of China today about a hit and run incident involving a toddler. And rightly so. The little girl had wandered off from her mum and was knocked over by a van. The driver didn’t stop and, even more worryingly, neither did a dozen or so passersby. No, they all just wandered past the critically injured little girl, leaving her on the road. Awful,...

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Nothing funny about this comedian

Nothing funny about this comedian

Finally, there is going to be a judicial review of a judge’s decision to let a comedian away with no punishment for sexually assaulting his four-year-old daughter. This was a case that absolutely disgusted me for so many reasons: that a father could do that to his own child, that he could somehow think being drunk excused the behaviour and, most of all, that a judge could even suggest that his losing a a...

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