It made me laugh

However you want to spell it (humor/humour), it’s the stuff that I find funny. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll agree with me but luckily it’s a free world.

Sucky virus

Heard about the vampire virus?

Your computer will only work at night and its performance really sucks.

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Speed…what speed?

Do we love Xtra? Hmmm, maybe not. If you’re feeling frustrated by lack of broadband speed, you’re not the only one.

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The dangers of healthy living

I always knew the whole go to the gym and get fit thing was a crock. And now, it seems, so does a certain stressed out polar bear. Watch out for those aggressive treadmills.

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In the jungle

Well, if this doesn’t give you a giggle, I don’t know what will!

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Saddam’s rock, paper, scissors

I know its a serious and somewhat important world event but I did get a fit of the giggles while watching the footage of dear old Uncle Saddam being questioned about some mass killings on the news the other night.

Anyone who has seen the Saddam Hussein rock, paper, scissors site will understand.

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Christmas cracker

Have you ever wondered: if Santa and Mrs Claus had a child, would he or she be a subordinate Claus?

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Redneck etiquette

Etiquette Tips for Rednecks advises that if you have to vacuum the sheets, it’s time to change the bed.

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Mouse on a mission and other droppings

Sticking to the subject of weird, American and South Korean scientists have created a genetically engineered mouse that can run faster and longer than the average mouse — a marathon mouse.

With all the doping scandals at the Athens Olympics, this could be the next step. Imagine the uproar when the International Olympics Committee announces Russian weightlifter Mikhail Mousikov is found to be part human-part rodent.

Doping is a worry in all sports, even chess, as reported last year on the Pass Your Drug Test website. Strangely, I’d never realised chess was a sport.

Again, sticking with the weird theme, if you like your news weird (and don’t we all), check out http://www.newsoftheweird.com/.

Patently Absurd has details of some of the strange inventions creative Britons have come up with, while Delphion’s Gallery of Obscure Patents offers an insight into the mind of the American inventor.

Hey, you never know when your chicken might have a pressing need for an eye protector.

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The Olympics

Did you hear about the three guys trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to score some souvenirs and autographs.

The first says, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can use to scam our way in” .

Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and says, “Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shot put” , as he displays a shot put to the registration attendant.

The attendant gives him a pack with his registration gear and passes to all the Olympic events.

This inspires the intrepid trio so the first guy grabs a small tree branch, strips off the leaves, walks up the registration table and states: “Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin.”

It works, he gets in.

The second guy grabs a manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and says: “Dusty Rhodes. New Zealand. Discus.”

Another success.

The first two blokes suddenly realise their friend is missing and, realising he’s a bit slow on the uptake, worry he might blow their cover stories.

Just then, he walks up to the registration table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: “Rusty Steele. Australia. Fencing.”

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MEET YOUR BLOGGER

Jillian "George" Allison-Aitken

I live in the deep south of New Zealand, where smelly dairy cows are taking over from sheep in the livestock stakes. My hometown is the small but perfectly formed city of Invercargill, which is also the hometown of the original boy racer, Burt Munro. Find out more about me here.

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