I know we’re all keen on multi-purpose gadgets, like smartphones with all their phone and texty cleverness blended in with cameras and MP3 players, but I reckon this might just be taking things a little too far: I’d prefer a thermometer that is either/or, not a multi-tasking clever clogs that can get you at either end. And the “giant” part of the description is a tad disturbing, too.
Makes my eyes water just thinking about it.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished, so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now.
Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u blody luvum!!!
(Disclaimer: No, not really … my cardiologist would have a fit!)
Who’d have thunk it: I know some clean jokes! OK, so they aren’t particularly funny but it’s a hard road finding the perfect joke.
Why is the ocean wet?
Because the sea weed.
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her.
What do you call a kungfu pig?
What do you call a blind deer?
What do you call a dead blind deer?
Still no idea.
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler!
Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
Good disguise, eh?