However you want to spell it (humor/humour), it’s the stuff that I find funny. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll agree with me but luckily it’s a free world.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that...
A man goes to confession, sits down and tells the priest, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.” “What was your sin, my son?” the priest asked. “Obscene language,” the man replied. “That’s a terrible sin,” the priest replied. “Do you swear often?” “No,” answered the man, “but do you know the local golf...
At least they know how to spell anonymity, I suppose. Now perhaps they can look it up in a dictionary, because I’m pretty sure they don’t know what it actually means! Maybe Ms Reynolds wore a mask while being interviewed.
Twas the night before Christmas – Old Santa was pissed He cursed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have a good mind to scrap the whole works I’ve busted my arse for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – what do I hear...
Effective immediately, the following economising measures are being implemented in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary: The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance; Two turtledoves represent a redundancy that is simply not...
The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. ‘Jesus Christ!’ he exclaimed. Joseph said, ‘Write that down, Mary; it’s better than Clyde!’
For all you lexophiles (lovers of words) 1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tyred. 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. 6. When a clock...
Instructions for cleaning the toilet: Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid...
Just a few of the Rugby World Cup images doing the rounds. Some of them relate to that dark time when NZ was in a state of Cuplessness.
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