This is why it is important for headline writers to have dirty minds!
Month: March 2014
Is it time for a new career?
So … have you had enough of your boring office job? Sick of endless meetings and sharing a smelly lunch room microwave oven with your feral workmates? Do you fancy a job with travel, white fluffy beasts and just a…
Undercover awareness a bit pointless
You’ve probably seen the “makeup-free selfie” memes all over social media lately, the latest in a seemingly never-ending stream of near-pointless “awareness” memes. In case you didn’t know: the makeup-free selfies and earlier bra colour memes were meant to promote…
Clean one-liners
Who’d have thunk it: I know some clean jokes! OK, so they aren’t particularly funny but it’s a hard road finding the perfect joke. Why is the ocean wet? Because the sea weed. »»»»«««« Why did the fly fly? Because…
No wuckin’ furries
In the greatest scandal to rock children’s television since Big Bird started toking up and imagining a big hairy critter named Snuffy, a mum in Cardiff reckons her young daughter has picked up a naughty word (starts with F, ends…
Shock, horror: Wrinkle alert!
I make no secret of the fact that I am no fan of any of the Kardashians (famous for fuck all apart from dodgy marriages and, well, actually that’s about it). But I really think it’s scraping the bottom of…
Even the weather app throws up its hands
(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times) It’s been an interesting start to autumn so far, with the new season appearing to arrive hand-in-hand with winter. This follows on from our remarkably summer-ish spring and a decidedly…
Birthday party bitching
When I was a kid (admittedly that was many, many, many years ago) we had birthday parties only for significant years. Turning 5, and so beginning our school career; birthdays ending in a zero; the 13th marking official teenager-hood; a…