Trent: stop fondling your bits!

February 20, 2012
By
unshaggable

Sloping forehead? Check. Low-slung ears? Check. Buck teeth? Check. Banjo-plucking skills? Check.

I suppose any headline proclaiming a father of 14 to be a virgin is going to get your attention, but having taken a look at this guy I can’t say I’m surprised he became a father via sperm donation.

This “organic” dad started his own free sperm bank and proceeded to be his own best customer. He says he has an ideal gene pool to father children.

Hmmm, is it just me or does it look like his own father may have been a six-toed banjo-plucking freak who didn’t look too far from the family tree when it came time to reproduce?

Anyway, virginal computer geek Trent Arsenault said:

I coined this term “donor sexual” … it means 100 per cent of my sexual energy is for producing sperm for childless couples to have babies. So I don’t have other activity outside of that.

Riiiight. Let’s break that down: he spends all his sexual energy producing sperm for childless couples, and has no other activity outside of that. In other words, he’s constantly fondling his gherkin.

Hope he washes his hands properly.

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Jillian "George" Allison-Aitken

I live in the deep south of New Zealand, where smelly dairy cows are taking over from sheep in the livestock stakes. My hometown is the small but perfectly formed city of Invercargill, which is also the hometown of the original boy racer, Burt Munro. Find out more about me here.

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