How-to guide: cleaning the loo

November 9, 2011
By

dog

Instructions for cleaning the toilet:

  1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo.
  2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet.
  3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand or sit on the lid.
  4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will generate plenty of foam.  Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying himself.
  5. After several minutes flush the toilet to start the “Power-wash” pre-wash and then flush again for the main wash cycle.
  6. Ask someone to open the front door and ensure that no-one is between the toilet and the front door.
  7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly.  The cat will dry off naturally due to the high speed at which he will be moving from the toilet to the front door.
  8. The toilet and the cat are now both clean.

With best wishes,

The Dog

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Jillian "George" Allison-Aitken

I live in the deep south of New Zealand, where smelly dairy cows are taking over from sheep in the livestock stakes. My hometown is the small but perfectly formed city of Invercargill, which is also the hometown of the original boy racer, Burt Munro. Find out more about me here.

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