… you are the pigeon. Some days you are the statue. And some days (most days?) it feels like you’ve been the statue for way too long and the pigeons are getting organised.
An update on Norman the mighty hunter: this morning I found a very proud Norman with the head of a bird. Dead, obviously. She had left it in the doorway of my office, a disembodied head with. And again, there was a trail of feathers that seemed far too huge to be from one...
Ozzy and the boys are re-forming Black Sabbath, putting out their first new album for 33 years AND going on a world tour next year. I hope they stop off here in Kiwi land.
Norman the Newbie-ish Cat spent much of the winter perfecting her hunting techniques, honing her skills on wetas, snails, moths, leaves and socks. She has found, through a process of trial and error, that leaving dead wetas in the shoes isn’t always appreciated by the owner of said shoes. And that if you make...
Instructions for cleaning the toilet: Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid...
I suppose it makes you appreciate our heath-care system when you read stories like this: some poor bugger in the United States has scrotal elephantiasis, which means his crackers are ginormous. Yes folks, he has a 45kg scrotum. Anyway, he needs an operation to fix the problem but has no medical insurance so is...
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