Pope pleads for proper names

January 11, 2011
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Listen up Posh and Becks: the Pope has had enough of parents opting for trendy, silly names.

I never thought I’d see the day, but here I am agreeing with a man in a frock. Who’d have thunk it?

Pope Benedict the 16th-ish (I think) has called on parents to use proper Christian name for their offspring, avoiding copying the the obscure names celebs often choose (or make up) for their kids.

I’m with Pope Benny on this one: what’s up with all the ridiculous names that celebrities seem to go for? What’s wrong with real names like Nick, George, Seymour or even Nigel?

Okay, so I wouldn’t consider lumbering some poor kid with the moniker Ebenezer (a traditional biblical name) but I wouldn’t go for some made-up oddity, either. Or a fruit (Apple? Might as well call the poor wee bugger Potato or Cheese Sandwich).

Then there are the kids named for the places they were conceived, with such romantic sounding locations as Paris, Geneva, Adelaide. What about the little darling conceived in Dipton, or in the back of a Honda Civic (it could happen)?

And don’t even get me started on the idiots who actually go out of there way to come up with made-up spellings of real names. Oh yes, I see them pop up occasionally on one of New Zealand’s most popular message boards asking for feedback on what everyone thinks of their creative spelling efforts.

Real names people, it’s not too much to ask now, is it?

And trust me, as someone who is constantly having to spell her name, give your kids nice, simple, real names.

They’ll appreciate you for it in years to come.

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