Let’s see who I can offend this week

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

Another day another dollar (plus GST) and another chance to offend someone.

What can I say, it’s what I do.

Last week I managed to upset a reader who wasn’t happy with my Taser fantasies. Remember folks, it’s only a problem if I act on them.

Anyway, the reader left a comment on my column on our website to tell me I was “no better than the thousands of law enforcement officers who use their Tasers to inflict extreme pain, punishment and sometimes a death sentence, on persons who have not been formally charged with any offence.”

Being compared to cops? I’ve been compared to worse. Besides, I was talking about scammers who were trying to steal aid money meant for Haiti earthquake victims, not “persons”. There’s a difference.

Oh, and thanks to the two readers who responded to the comment and defended my right to fantasise about Tasering lowlifes.

A couple of weeks before that I upset another reader with my column about the dodgy iTunes card situation. Because, it seems, writing about a fault with a product sold to work with what is probably the hottest bit of tech gadgetry of the past decade is (according to my reader) “lazy”.

Who’d have thunk it? So, what can I write about this week? I suppose I could play it safe and write about unicorns and rainbows and kittens and puppies but after the low-life kitten-killers who were in court this week, I’d probably start fantasising about Tasers again. And we can’t have that, can we?

I could have a whinge about the newest version of Firefox that updated on my computer yesterday and caused me some difficulties when trying to update our work Facebook page (when logged in as me I could add links to my personal Facebook page only, our work page just sat there mocking me). In the end I gave up and used Internet Explorer.

I could upset the Twilight fans with a joke about a game controller. But do I really want gazillions of sparkly vampire fans plotting ways to get me?

Not that I think gazillions of people read my column. However, given the wee flurry of comments from readers I reckon between them, the weird stalkerly dude who sends me occasional emails about his choices in underwear and (ahem) personal habits, my husband, son and the cat I might just about be into double figures.

Good times, good times.

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