(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times) As 2009 shuffles off into the sunset, you can’t help but wonder just how the new decade we’re about to dip our toes into will ever be able to compete.…
Month: December 2009
Sometimes there’s nothing you can say …
We are not alone
One day, an anonymous All Black was perfecting his haka technique for the upcoming big game. As he went about his business, somewhere in outer space a little alien was watching him with interest. ”Ka mate, ka mate, ka ora, ka…
It may not be a moustache on a lady
Christmas all wrapped up
Imagine coming home to find everything in your home gift-wrapped. That’s what happened to Chicago bloke Louie Saunders when he went out of town and left a spare key to his apartment with a friend. Sixteen people used 35 rolls…
Some gifts deserve to get given the heave
(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times) Oooh, it’s all happening now, isn’t it. Just the one sleep to go until Christmas Day, and summer arrived on Tuesday. That in itself came as a wee bit of…
John Key gets festive
Sign-stealing morons caught
The sign stolen from Auschwitz has been recovered and it seems that it wasn’t Neo Nazis after all, it was just a bunch of thieves who stole it to sell for a quick buck. The sign, and where it stands,…
The most functional English word
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit. Some people know their shit, while others can’t…
Update
And on the 8th day, God created coffee. And it was good And the people rejoiced. Some of them twitched a little on their third shot of espresso. But they still rejoiced. Oh yes, thank you Starbucks for today’s unexpected…