Down with moobs

January 31, 2009
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(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

Val Kilmer and his man-breasts. Val Kilmer and his man-breasts. What happened to Val Kilmer? He used to be quite tasty. Lickalicious, it could be said.

He strutted his stuff in the role of Jim Morrison in the movie The Doors and certainly filled out the batsuit in a most suitable fashion.  Right now, though, if he turned up on my doorstep in a pair of black tights and a cape I’d probably call the exterminator.

Now, I’m no oil painting myself but no one was ever going to pay me to squeeze my lumpy bits into a lycra batsuit.

Val, what went wrong? Batman shouldn’t have moobs (that’s man boobs). It’s just wrong on so many levels.

Yes, I know these photos have been around for a while but I stumbled across them again while searching for something else on Google and the moobs gave me such a fright, I felt the need to vent.

I suppose at least we know those photos haven’t been retouched. I doubt there’s a celebrity out there who hasn’t been airbrushed and Photoshopped on a regular basis.

iWANEX Studio has a selection of before and after shots of various celebrities on its site. If you select the portfolio option from the index, then click on the various photos you’ll get to witness some amazing transformations (move your mouse on and off the photos when you open them to see the changes).

Hah, Eva Longoria Parker isn’t perfect after all. In fact, she looks a little stumpy in her before picture.

Eva before ... Eva before …
and after. and after.
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