Yar, a day to keelhaul landlubbers who talk the Queen’s English

(This is the Online column, written for The Southland Times)

 

Captain Jack Sparrow Captain Jack Sparrow

Did everyone polish up their parrots yesterday?

No, polishing your parrot is not a euphemism for something you shouldn’t do it public. Yesterday marked the annual Talk Like A Pirate Day, an event that is fast becoming a favourite. Hey, with pirates like Johnny Depp, what’s not to like? Even better is the fact that, unlike all the other international days we’ve adopted, this one doesn’t involve spending. It beats Valentine’s Day hands down.

So, if your neighbour spent the day with a bird on his shoulder, if your workmate kept calling you a swabby or if your checkout operator was suddenly sporting an eyepatch, don’t panic; they’re just a step ahead of you this year. However, you can do some homework now so you are properly prepared for next year’s event.

Find yourself a parrot, or at a pinch a budgie might do the trick. A chook might be a tad unconvincing.

I found my cat was a good alternative.

Next, you’ll need a hat. I would advise against a blinged-out cap worn sideways. The other pirates might tease you.

After that, it’s really up to you: do you want to be a peg-leg pirate? One with a hook? An eyepatch? The possibilities are endless.

Now that you’re in the zone, clothes-wise, it’s time to hone your language skills. There are some key words and phrases you can learn that will stand you in good stead for next year’s day.

  • Yar: Yes.
  • Yarr: I agree wholeheartedly.
  • Yarrrrrr: I beg your pardon, could you repeat the question?
  • Landlubber: Parrotless person.
  • Thar she blows: Oh look, there it is.
  • Ahoy there: Gidday.
  • Weigh anchor: Bugger off.
  • Blow me down: You don’t say?
  • Buccaneers: What you keep under your buccanhat.

GAME NEWS: The official website for the latest installment in the Project Gotham game franchise _ Project Gotham Racing 4 _ is up and running with all the latest news and updates on the game.

The site has the game’s full robust vehicles list, including models from the world’s top car and motorcycle manufacturers, as well as the official achievements list. It will be continually updated to give fans a home base.

Microsoft Game Studios and developer Bizarre Creations say the game has gone to manufacturing and will hit the stores on October 11.

The PlayStation Portable (PSP) is now even smaller with the new PSP Slim and Lite. It weighs just 189g (down from the 280g of the previous model) and has slimmed down nearly 5mm to an impressive 18.6mm without reducing the size of the screen.

The new video-out feature means it can connect to your TV so you can watch high-quality Universal Media Disc movies, view pictures or movies from Memory Stick and play any of your favourite PSP games.

It’s in stores now and is retailing for just under $300.

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