(This is the Online column written for The Southland Times)
Now that it’s a mere nine sleeps until the 25th, I think it’s safe to start thinking about Christmas presents.
Successful gift shopping isn’t as easy as it looks so it’s important to know what to buy. However, it’s even more important to know what not to buy.
First of all, I’d like to insert a note for my poor, long-suffering husband: No, I’m not hard to buy for. I like music, gadgets, alcohol, painting, formula 1, tattoos, Spongebob Squarepants, coffee and geeky stuff so put your thinking cap on. If you’re still stumped, take a look at this.
Now, back to the column.
It’s safe to say that people really don’t appreciate the gift of socks. Except for my husband — but getting excited over a gift-wrapped pair of socks is just one of his little quirks.
The same goes for Christmas-themed clothing that you can wear for only a limited time without looking like a bit of a knob. Let’s face it, if you wear that lurrrvely Christmas tree-emblazoned cardy beyond Boxing Day, people are going to be looking at you sideways.
Household appliances can be a bit sticky, too. If it’s a gadget you know the potential recipient really wants, such as a remote-controlled maid, then go for it. However, toasters, irons and vacuum cleaners don’t really fit the bill. You may as well present your loved one with a gift-wrapped roll of loo paper.
Hubby made the mistake of buying me a toaster many years ago. He’ll never do that again because he knows that if he does, the toilet-brush-and-rubber-glove option will once again rise to the top of the list of likely gifts for his next birthday.
So what else is out there? The Pull My Finger Farting Santa is sure to get boring pretty quickly. Besides, I’m sure most readers have a husband/father/uncle who performs the same task free of charge and doesn’t require batteries.
Then there’s Humphrey the Humping Dog. Charming.
You could always try the Pooping Reindeer Dispenser, which dispenses dainty doo-doo biscuits for the munching pleasure of your friends and loved ones. Again, charming.
The I Want One Of Those website has an amazing range of delights on offer, including the talking George Bush doll that utters phrases such as “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure” and the ever-popular remote-controlled Fart Machine, and I did like the look of the Walking Hand.
The Jesus action figure is, it seems, the coolest action figure since GI Joe. He has poseable arms to reach towards the heavens, and wheels in his base for smooth gliding action.
For the blokes out there, Pressies4Princess details the top 10 mistakes men make when buying gifts for the women in their lives. Another note here for my husband, take note of mistake No 10.
I’ve always said I like the simple things in life (like men) so to make the shopping-for-hubby easier, check out these rules for buying gifts for men.
Remember, it’s the thought that counts.