Unsuccessfully searching for an early Christmas phobia

(This is the Online column written for The Southland Times)

I was talking to a deranged but well-meaning friend last week when she proudly announced that she had completed all her Christmas shopping and had spent the Saturday of Labour Weekend wrapping the assorted gifts with extra supplies of festive paper she bought last Christmas.

This week, an online company I occasionally buy from sent me an e-mail ominously titled: “Are you sorted for Christmas?”

christmas-gifts2I like Christmas as much as the next person but I like it in December, where it belongs.

I like starting (and finishing) my Christmas shopping on December 23.

I like leaving a wide-open 24 hours to do a spot of liquid socialising with friends and family, wrap the pressies before its time for Santa to pop down the chimney.

I don’t like the prospect of stores breaking out the decorations and canned Christmas music nearly two months before the big day.

However, I’m not phobic about Christmas. I can’t be because there doesn’t appear to be any sort of official festive phobia, according to the Phobia List website, which lists a whole range of phobias.

It’s an interesting website and I must admit I never realised there were so many frightening things in this world. I suppose I can see the sense in vampires suffering from alliumphobia (fear of garlic) but Im a bit baffled by fear of knees (genuphobia).

Ballistophobia (fear of bullets) and rhabdophobia (fear of being beaten by a rod) seem to fall into the range of sensible rather than irrational phobias. Irrational would be arachibutyrophobia, or a fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. Although I’m sure no Americans, where peanut butter appears to be the national food, would suffer from that phobia.

According to Peanut Butter Lovers there’s even a national peanut month. Something that could make you phobic about peanut butter can be found here.

Why Halo there!

This week was a special one for fans of Xbox staple Halo, with the release of the long-awaited Halo 2. If it’s half as good as the original it should be a fun-filled bloodbath with the genetically modified Master Chief kicking butts and taking names.

It’s a great way to relieve stress without the worry of lawyers’ bills and making bail.


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